Hey There

Grief touches so many aspects of our lives—illness, death, significant life transitions. Over the past thirty years, I’ve experienced my share of these, with grief at the heart of them all.

 

When I was 17, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. While my friends were enjoying their senior year of high school, I was navigating 15 months of intense chemotherapy and surgeries. Losing my health at such a young age and confronting death forced me to grow up quickly. It was my first profound experience of grief—the loss of my carefree youth. I still grieve for that stage of life, though I am also grateful for the early perspective it gave me.

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In my twenties, I faced unimaginable loss: both of my brothers died by suicide. Even now, I sometimes shake my head in disbelief that my two protectors have been gone for so many years. Between these losses, I was diagnosed with a secondary cancer—thyroid cancer—that brought its own battles.

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I was a young mother and wife during this time, often feeling as though life was happening to me without any rhyme or reason. It felt like the rug was constantly pulled from beneath me, leaving no solid ground. I was trying to survive a life that felt wrong and unfair, believing that everything and everyone I loved would be taken from me.

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I fought hard to control my circumstances, hoping that something outside of myself would save me. But this struggle left me feeling alone, disconnected, and out of alignment with my true self. Eventually, I realized it was time to lay down my sword and find a new way to relate to loss. I was exhausted from numbing my emotions just to get through each day.

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That realization marked the beginning of a journey toward transformation—a path that embraced the mind, body, and spirit. I joined yoga and meditation classes, explored Ayurveda, delved into nature’s rhythm workshops, took up pottery, and experienced healing rituals within loving communities. I couldn't get enough of these nourishing practices.

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As I nourished myself—through food, energy, plant medicine, and the love of friends and family—I discovered a different way to live. One where I could flow with whatever life brought, instead of fighting against it. Slowly, I began tending to my pain and mending my broken heart. Realigning with life as it was, rather than what I thought it should be, was transformative. It filled me with hope and brought changes to my body, mind, and spirit. I shed old habits and rediscovered my creative spirit, which had been neglected for years.

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At the beginning of 2022, our family made the decision to purchase a home with my parents in the woods of Northern Minnesota. My dad had been struggling with dementia for nearly a decade, and my mom was his caregiver until she gradually declined in health. It turned out that she, too, had Lewy Body Dementia (a particularly cruel form that attacks the body similar to Parkinson's symptoms). What was once a dream of intergenerational living turned out to be full-time caregiving until they both died in the fall of that same year - my mom died in September, and my dad followed in October only four short weeks later. 

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To say that my life has been forever altered by my experiences of loss is a drastic understatement. 

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During my own healing journey, I realized that everyone around me was seeking solace amidst some form of grief. Divorce, job loss, death—even the quiet grief of unmet expectations. I was not alone. Like them, I had been moving from one healing modality to the next, gathering tools to cope. Yet, I noticed a gap: so few resources were truly centered on grief itself.

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Our culture often overlooks the time and care it takes to move through the pain of loss. Grief can leave us feeling isolated, especially in a society that favors "good vibes only." But loss is a part of life, one that deserves to be honored.

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I created the comprehensive, whole-human grief support I wish I had during my darkest times. My hope is that it becomes a resource for anyone navigating their own journey with grief—a guide toward healing, reconnection, and hope.